Turn Down the Power: Stepping Back from Screens

Screens can be a polarizing topic. We don’t want anyone to feel judged, nor do we know what is right for your particular family. There are many times that screens can be a useful tool and we also know many parents who are feeling powerless in the struggle to find balance!

Montessori education emphasizes hands-on learning, exploration, and independence.  Children are encouraged to explore and engage with their environment, and to learn through their senses, rather than passively consuming information from screens.

If you’re ready to take the leap towards a screen-free (or lighter screen) lifestyle, here are some tips on how to quit cold turkey (or at least, hopefully reduce screen time struggles):

Create screen-free spaces and encourage other activities: Keep screens out of bedrooms and limit screen time in common areas of the house. Instead, create spaces that are dedicated to other activities – consider setting up a reading nook with beautiful textiles and engaging books, or an arts & crafts area with materials available for children to use independently.

Encourage other activities: Encourage your child to engage in other activities that promote hands-on learning, such as playing outside, doing crafts, or reading books. Provide materials and resources that will allow your child to explore their environment and learn through experience.

Set limits: Start by setting limits on screen time. Be clear with your child when they are allowed access devices, for how long, and what the process is when that time is up. The American Academy of Pediatrics discourages any use of  media by children younger than two and recommends no more than one or two hours per day for elementary children (and older). Your family may choose no screens during the weekdays, no screens at all except for travel or no screens full stop. Be clear and consistent with limits, and explain to your child why limits are important. Use a timer to show your child visually when screen time is over. They will enjoy setting the timer themselves to the number you have chosen.

Model healthy screen use: Set an example for your child by modeling healthy screen use. Limit your own screen time and engage in other activities that don’t involve screens, such as reading a physical book, practicing a musical instrument, cooking from a cookbook (versus online recipe), enjoying time in nature, and so forth.

Be patient: It’s never too late to change your relationship with screens, but it may be a bit bumpy when you do. Quitting screens cold turkey can be challenging for children, especially if they are used to spending time in front of a screen. Be patient and supportive of your child, helping redirect their focus by providing other opportunities to learn or explore other activities (“I can see you are frustrated you can’t watch that baking show you like right now, would you like to challenge yourself to a baking challenge in our kitchen instead”). Once you have established a limit or boundaries, stick with it. It will become easier as your child gets accustomed to their new normal.

Contextualize Screen Time: TV and Movies are cultural, we get it. Maybe screens are only available on the airplane, or on long road trips. If screens are offered at a grandparents house, or another place outside of the home, children won’t come to expect them on a regular basis from their parents. They can associate their expected screen time with a trip or a special occasion and it may not feel like a dire need as often. And when those shows or programs are ready to be consumed, make sure the content is appropriate for your child’s age.

Montessori-style parenting is all about fostering independence and self-motivated learning. By setting limits on screen time and encouraging other activities for curiosity and creativity to blossom, you can help your child develop a love of learning that will serve them well throughout their lives.

For some ideas on what to do when you put the screens down, check out our suggestions for dining out with children or spring activities.

If you’d like more information, check out:

Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt

Screen Time and Children recommendations (Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry)

What do we really know about kids and screens? (American Psychological Association)

Media and Children (American Academy of Pediatrics)