5 Ways Older Children Can Support New Baby in the Home

Welcoming a younger sibling is always exciting, but it comes with one daunting question: *how do you integrate the older siblings in this new addition?*

As a Mother of 3, or what Simone Davies inspired me to call my *“happy handful,*” I invited small and meaningful ways my older children could be a part of the baby’s life. These simple tasks are very satisfying to a big brother or sister. And it made our transition to the third child a little easier.

This process creates a culture of inclusivity in the family system, offers the child agency, and introduces new responsibilities for the big siblings. When older children are viewed as essential supports to the new baby from the beginning, it can become a more harmonious transition.

Bonus: it strengthens the sibling bond.

**1. Decorate the Nursery**

**Make a Painting or Mobile**
OIder children can help decorate and welcome the baby into the nursery. Maybe they create a painting that gets put by the changing station? Or, a child can make a mobile out of natural woods and black and white materials that gets hung above the crib. It’s a win win for everyone - the mobile aids in the baby’s developing vision as well.

2. Fetch and Organize Things

Be the Runner

When you are sitting down feeding or rocking the baby, invite the older child to be the “runner” - fetching handy items such as a burp cloth, pacifier or diaper. For maximum effort opportunities at 18 months, the toddler sibling can also bring the big nursing pillow over to mama! Plus, these requests to move get their energy out.

Pick Out Baby’s Outfit

Invite your older sibling to pick out their baby sister or brother’s clothing. You can let them choose from two options that are appropriate for the weather. This gives the older children some ownership over their younger brother or sister.

Older children can also help out by maintaining the changing station. Whether it is stocking a pack of diapers at a low level or helping fold and put clothes away, they will know where to find fresh onesies when you need an extra hand. And, we all know the laundry piles up in the newborn days.

3. Help with Feedings

At the beginning, it can feel like you are feeding the new baby 24/7 for you and the older sibling.

Give Baby Bottle

If the baby is exclusively nursing, your older children can help give the baby a bottle of pumped milk whenever that time comes. My daughters beamed with pride when feeding their baby brother his first bottle. If the baby is taking formula, the older child can scoop the formula into the bottle, screw the top on, and shake up the bottle. These little tasks that seem insignificant make big siblings feel a part of the process.

**Sous Chef**

As the infant approaches 6 months, older children can support their baby sibling by applying their culinary skills! This might look like selecting recipes from a baby cookbook, chopping the vegetables and fruit, and blending purees for spoon-fed babies. If the baby is doing baby-led weaning, they could even make the muffins or bread for baby to enjoy. Then, eventually they can help feed them the baby themselves.

Go to the Grocery Store

In the early days with a new baby, your time can be pretty occupied. So this is a great opportunity to send your older child on a job assignment to help the baby and family. Together, a caregiver and older sibling can make a grocery list with words or pictures of items, and take a trip to the grocery store. It could be anything from diaper cream for the baby (we’ve all been there in that emergency) or hydrating beverages for you, Mama!

**4. Assist with Bathing Baby**

Bathing our baby was a nightly ritual for the whole family. We found it to be the secret sauce to combating witching hour in the newborn days. Big siblings can support the baby during bath time. The younger child can pump the infant soap onto a washcloth to start. Even your 2 year old can do this on the learning tower in front of the kitchen sink. The older child can wash the top of the baby’s head or body with a washcloth gently in this inflatable bathtub. All supervised, of course.
Older children can warm up the baby’s towel in the dryer ahead of time. Newborns get cold after bath and this is often the reason they cry. Big sib to the rescue!

5. Help with Infant Language and Gross Motor Development

Tummy Time and Reading to Baby

Invite your older child to encourage baby tummy time by laying down on the floor across from one another! They can pick out a few toys for the baby, hold up a book or mirror, and talk to the baby.

Older children can help by reading books to the baby to build language development. Your 3 year old can read the pictures and make up a story for your baby based on simple books or show them these art cards.

If your child is musically inclined, they can sing, clap softly, or play wooden egg shakers for the baby. This is also a great way to redirect those little toddler hands when getting too close for comfort with the newborn.

Distracting baby in the tough moments

Big siblings are great at helping entertain babies once they reach the smiling age. You can invite the sibling to help by distracting the baby during trimming nails, washing their face, or getting into the carseat.

There are a myriad of ways older children can support your new baby and family. In fact, the big kids are yearning for responsibility and purposeful ways to provide for their family. Inviting these opportunities for older siblings to help can also make them feel less displaced in the family system with the new addition. Noticing their efforts to help out will continue to reinforce their positive behavior.

Let your children know that you trust them to help out with the baby. When I was in close proximity to them, my daughters loved holding their baby brother in a toppocino - a supported Montessori bonding pillow.