Lily Riesenfeld

Co-Chair Capital Campaign for the New Center for Food and Agriculture

Co-Creator, Futurewell

Co-Founder, The Pad Studios

Founder, Kinship

How has motherhood informed your current career path?

Motherhood has deeply informed my career path.  In my early adult years I was a wellness entrepreneur, and I built and operated yoga and Pilates studios.  In doing so I cultivated partners, mentors, and friends along the way to collaborate with to create special experiences and offerings for our clientele.  I was 28 years old when my first child was born, Bella (now 12). When she was a baby, I co-wrote a Pilates teacher training program with another new mother (and operating partner of my studio at the time).  It was then that I realized motherhood can bring a surge of creativity and resilience I had not known before.  It gave me a new sense of confidence I hadn’t known, but also a new vulnerability in being responsible for another human being (other than my husband). Once Henry was born I took a few years off to just deepen and settle in spiritually.  I then moved onto a path of connecting human health with climate health, and my professional focus is on regenerative food systems in California.   I leverage my skills and chops of bringing people together, and I now create elevated summits, salons, and convenings with purpose and intention. Having children gave me a deeper need and purpose to help heal, and in looking at our climate crisis I am best poised right now to do this work.  I’m chairing the campaign for the new Center for Food and Agriculture in Marin (a zero waste permanent farmers market), and also a strategic advisor to Alice Waters who is building the Alice Waters Institute among other projects. 

Tell us something that is bringing you joy as a mother right now.

Watching my children thrive in healthy activities brings me the deepest joy in motherhood. My daughter, Bella and husband, Andrew currently enjoy running together and when they return from a long run in the canyon behind our home I feel a sense of joy and admiration that share a love of the outdoors, fitness, and wholeness.  I also feel joy when Bella’s independence transcends her need for me to do things for her, and she organizes and plans life on her own. For Henry, my deepest joy is watching his effortless kindness with children and people.  He is a little adult, and I love when he brings humor out in other people.  I also feel a sense of gratitude when watching Henry and Andrew play catch, and when the kids are playing sports together in the backyard. I love watching my kids learn something new and their sense of pride and accomplishment.  On a recent trip to Costa Rica, both kids learned to surf and it was amazing to witness them acquire that skill. Henry is my healer, and so I especially love a Sunday morning cuddle. I also love it when my children gobble up my cooking, and the excitement they express when I might sneak a breakfast in bed tray for a special weekend treat.  

Your children went to a Montessori school, did it change the way you parent at all? 

Absolutely.  Montessori was deeply aligned with my daughter Bella.  She thrived in the environment of independence, and is who she is today because of that education.  Montessori taught me the potential of what my children have inside them, how much they can do on their own, and how proud they feel when they do.  It helped me “let go” and let them find their true potential. Bella has been making plans on her own for years now, and I let her go places by herself (including the public bus per her request!).  She is a sixth grader at an academically rigorous school and I don’t have to worry about her time management. She gets her work done without needing any direction. 

Henry sets an alarm at 7:45pm to make sure he is in bed on time for reading, he loves routines and making sure he follows through himself. Both kids make their beds every morning, and love cooking and baking. Bella has been doing her own laundry since she was 8 (mostly because I can’t get it done quick enough, LOL).

Most of our readers have young children or are in the baby phase of life.  As a mom older children, any advice you would give to those who feel in it right now?  Anything you wish you would've known?

Be gentle on yourself, and do not worry about comparing yourself to others. I used to be very stressed by the fact Bella didn’t want to play team sports and was not on the soccer field and did not have an array of scheduled activities like most kids in Marin.  Now, she is a 5 sport athlete, elite runner, plays guitar, and found her way on her own. Do not give into the pressures and norms of Bay Area youth athletics, activities and over scheduled environments. Henry was a major home body when he was tiny, and still is.  While he is an athlete, a biker, a chess player, and a nature lover, he still needs time to decompress at home and I give him that space and time.  He does not have the drive his sister does, and I like to let him be himself.  

As your children grow older, what is something you have been surprised by?

When they were tiny, I could not have imagined how much easier the physical side of motherhood becomes, but the mental load is what is more challenging.  Bella needs my emotional support at a level I could never have known.  Enjoy the less complex years, because hormones are real, and they are here, and wow is this a new ride! Henry is still pretty sweet, but he is full of questions I (and Siri) don’t know the answer to.

What does your typical morning routine look like?

My husband is an early riser, and I like being awake during daylight hours, meaning I don’t like getting out of bed until 7am.  Being a Virgo, I am very connected to the earth in that way.  He always unloads the dishwasher and gets the lunch boxes out, and brings me a cup of coffee in bed. Then I cook a hot breakfast for the kids and make their lunch.  The kids get themselves ready, beds made, and come in and eat breakfast together.  I usually leave a messy kitchen behind and we drive to school, which is 7 miles away.  I was the oldest of four children growing up, and mornings always felt rushed and chaotic.  I try and put music on (usually Jack Johnson or Amos Lee) and strive for the goal of a peaceful, positive morning, without any upset because I feel that is a tough start to any day. I intentionally try to make things feel calm and loving, but it takes effort!  Then I go and hit Equator Larkspur for my morning oat milk latte.

How do you practice self-care?

I hike every day.  We have a beautiful canyon that connects to Mt. Tam behind our home, so I will either hike with a friend or listen to a podcast or book.  My sister and I are addicted to audible and it has been a wonderful guilty pleasure when I feel like I am overloaded on information and news, and just want to clear my mind and listen to a great story (this can be a range from historical fiction to full on summer beach reads!). I also do yoga a few times a month, and have my own practice when I am in the woods. I keep a Pilates machine at my house, so I’ll do my own routine for a few minutes a few times a week.  I also take a hot bath almost every night, and keep candles next to my bed, at my desk, and in the tub.

We also are big fans of your sense of style, does motherhood have any influence on the way you dress?

My favorite easy lines are probably Shop Doen and Ulla Johnson.  My favorite denim is Mother.  I love collecting clothes when I travel, and while I am in Lulu Lemon a lot, I do love mixing with beautiful wraps, sweaters, moccasins and mala jewelry to elevate Marin casual. You will almost always see me in a straw or wide brim felt hat when I am out and about. Motherhood has hoaned my sense of casual style, and I love treating myself to a blowout once a week to make myself feel fresh and well kept up.

Any favorite local spots or activities you love to do with your children?

We love going to my family’s ranch in Healdsburg with the kids. This means cooking, swimming, horseback riding and fishing or snuggling our farm animals (mini donkeys, goats, and llama) and picking veggies from the garden.  When we can get the kids to hike as a family, that is our church. We also love going to the Sunday Farmers market together.  At this point, weekends are packed with sports and social activities, and when we can all be together it feels special.

Lily’s historic home was recently featured in Homes and Gardens if you’d like a glimpse inside their historic home!