How to Safely Encourage Independence When Your Toddler is a Daredevil
Some children have more energy than others and will lean into life through taking risks and challenging themselves. As parents, our number one job is to keep our children safe (and alive!), as well as fostering their independence and confidence. Risk taking and adventure seeking can have cognitive, physical and emotional benefits for your child. They will build upon their self-esteem, coordination, endurance and strength. By climbing the highest ladder or the tallest tree, they will feel pride in their skill, boost their gross motor ability and begin to build self-awareness around what they are capable of. While they are riding high off of an adrenaline rush, it is normal for a parent to be challenged in staying calm and supportive. When your child shows signs of being a daredevil or experimenting with risky behavior, here are a few ways you can continue to encourage their independence.
Use positive phrasing.
Letting your child know where they CAN go and which ledge they CAN jump off of, rather than the negative. “I see your body wants to jump! You can jump off that rock and those stairs.” “When we are inside, the couch is ok for jumping.”
Set limits and parameters for safety. It may not feel like it, but your child craves boundaries and limits set by the adults in their lives. They may want to push them, but developmentally, they wants those limits and are relying on you to be clear and consistent. When entering a park, playground or open space, do a walk around together to show how far your child can explore. “Stay within the large grassy area, the big tree is the farthest you may go.” If your child ignores those rules, then leave the park. They need to understand follow through from you, so they can continue to safely explore and challenge themselves.
Don’t overdue the warnings or say “Be Careful” too often. Your toddler doesn’t yet know what that means and may need to make lots of mistakes or get slightly hurt to understand caution. Look away if you find it is too tempting to want to jump in and hover. Bring a book to the park, or distract yourself to keep your sanity. Within safe limits, it’s ok for your child to experience a scary fall, scraped knee or bumped forehead. They may need to feel the impact and natural consequences of their behavior to know and understand what feels safe to them.
Try taking risks together or with a partner. If your child is curious to try the high slide at the park, invite a friend to accompany them. Or go down the slide together first, so you can assess the height. Then, once you feel comfortable, allow your child to repeat the action on their own.
Find an outlet for the big energy. A tumbling or gymnastics class is a wonderful way for your young child to learn about his or her body and build up control and skill in a safe environment. Swimming, hiking, beginning bike riding and scootering are all great ways for your child to get practice moving physically, and provide purposeful structure.
Children process abstract concepts through books and visual images. A few recommended toddler books for talking about safety:
