How to Have a Successful Playdate
Playdates are important for your child’s development because they offer opportunities to begin develop social skills, communication as well as empathy and understanding the needs of others. Your child will build confidence and autonomy through the practice of interacting with others.
Under the age of 6, children have an “absorbent mind” that means their brains are sponges, soaking up language, behaviors and taking in everything around them. Setting up a one-on-one playdate for your child and a peer will also present an invitation for closer connection that may not be built upon in a larger group setting.
Before a playdate: make sure human needs are met. A well-rested and fed child will be set up for best behavior. Time the playdate around naps or when you know your child’s energy is at its peak and will be set up for success. Bring snacks and water so your child’s body is comfortable and ready to connect with others.
Prepare through role play. Young children benefit from preparation before any new situation to ease any anxiety of the unknown. Practice with your child how to ask another child to play together, and be the other child who is inviting yours to play. If inviting someone into your home, demonstrate for your child how to offer and let someone else play with your toys.
Begin with a one-on-one playdate. Choose a familiar setting so your child will feel comfortable and be able to relax in a well-known park or in your home. The benefit of a playdate with one other peer will strengthen bonds for being in school or other community gatherings together.
Limit the time and provide structure. As you and your child begin to embark on playdates, set your child up for success by maintaining positive experiences through shorter interactions at first.
Meet a friend for sandbox play at the park, prepare an activity in advance to provide purpose and engagement; cook something together, take a walk to collect treasures in a bucket, set up a lego set or building blocks. Sometimes beginning with a structured activity will break the ice and then the children find themselves in free play on their own.
During the playdate, stay near but don’t hover. In a Montessori classroom, the adults sit in a stationed place to carefully observe and determine when they are needed to provide support. When your children are engaged together, or find themselves in parallel play, allow them the freedom to explore without interruptions. If the surroundings are safe, attempt to distance yourself comfortably, staying nearby. You can also let your child know, “I will be right over there, in case you need me.”
Give ample and concrete warning when the end is near. “Let’s find one last thing to do before we say goodbye.” “One more trip down the slide and let’s walk to the car together.” “Should we read a book together or build one more tall tower before we leave?” Giving your child the option or choice will present a feeling of control and decisiveness.
