How to Attend Birthday Parties Without a Meltdown
Birthday parties can be a recipe for chaos, excitement and over stimulation. Here are a few ways you can set your child up for success, making your transitions in and out a little easier.
Preparation beforehand. Children benefit from being prepared with details. We are going to Jason’s birthday party. It will be at a park and will have a jumpy house. You may need to take your shoes off to go inside, and if at any point you need a break, you can come and find me for a snack or drink or quiet moment. I think these 3 friends will be there. I will be talking to the parents, while you may be invited to play.
Children also enjoy a plan that they feel they are a part of. Brainstorm together. Should we leave after cake or before cake? When we get there, should we find the bathroom so we know where it is? What do you want to do if you feel like you might cry at any point?
Prepare them for the goodbye. Remember, when it is time to leave, I will let you know and you will be ready to say goodbye. Would a 5 minute warning help? Let’s practice!
Depending on your child, you can also set clear boundaries. We will be leaving right after the birthday treat.
During the party: If possible, steal your child away for a quiet moment. Go to the bathroom together and check-in. Children may not recognize they need a calm, quiet moment, but they might appreciate the break. They may use the opportunity to share something with you. This will hopefully curb any upset or tantrum if they can re-connect and re-center with you. Share observations about what you see. I can see you are having so much fun!
In the car on the way home, debrief with them. This can also happen later if they need silence to decompress from all the excitement. Remember when you were feeling nervous going to the party? Once you saw your friend, I could tell how comfortable you felt! I am so proud of you for playing without me and look how fun it was!
