Nurturing the Art of Giving and Receiving Gifts in Children
It can be a wealth of emotions for a young child to process the gift-giving season: exciting and magical, but also may feel overwhelming or confusing. Expectations from on-lookers as presents are being opened requires some performative aspect, that some children may not enjoy or know how to handle. Here are a few ways to support your child and foster a sense of appreciation for the holidays as gifts are being received.
Involve your child in planning gifts for others. Instead of lists of gifts they want to receive, invite your child to make a list of gifts for others! With my children, we have a ritual of wrapping gifts with the classic brown wrapping paper so that they can write the recipient's name directly on top, and decorate with pictures or stickers to personalize the gift. Selecting a present for someone else or talking about why a gift might suit a certain person will teach your child the thoughtfulness behind the offering.
Role-play with your child “how to receive a present.”
Act it out together, so your child will understand the graciousness of what it will look like and how they can properly respond when someone gives a present. Take turns pretending to give a gift, and model for your child saying “thank you!”
Talk about it after and tell real stories. Ask your child if they can recall what their friend or family member said when they received the gift. Name the emotions for them: “Aunt Catie looked so delighted when you gave her that book, it must have made her feel so much joy!” Children love recalling past experiences and memories, they will enjoy hearing about how people felt when they were surprised with a gift.
You can also share that if they are not excited or happy with the gift presented, it is still important to politely say thank you or offer appreciation in a way that feels natural. You can share with them “You may be getting presents from family soon. It is important is that you thank them when they give you the gift. When someone gives you a present, it means they care about you and want you to feel happy. We always find ways to say thank you!” Giving a hug, writing a thank you letter or practicing verbal ways to say “thank you” will further your child’s empathy and sense of gratitude.
It’s not about the gift. Repeat over and over to instill the understanding that when someone gives you a present, it means they were thinking of you. And express your own gratitude and appreciation so your child will hear those emotions being modeled. Write thank you letters together, or if your child is not of writing age, transcribe for them what they wish to say and they can draw a picture to accompany the words. Phone or facetime friends and relatives together to offer thanks and demonstrate appreciative behavior. And because children emulate the actions and language modeled for them, set the example by expressing your own gratitude when you receive presents this holiday season.
