Finding Balance as a Parent
It’s a season in life, a chapter in time, one small blip on the large radar that is our life. But when we are in it, in the trenches of a tantrum-ing child, a sibling disagreement, or a house covered in toys, it can feel as though we are underwater with no end in sight. I remember reading a quote in which a mother stated that she would give anything to have the doorbell ring and see her now-grown children standing upon her doorstep as their 2, 4 and 5 year-old selves. It has served as a constant reminder to savor the moment or at least hold close the mantra one day I will miss this. I will miss the rushed mornings simultaneously trying to get myself and multiple children clothed, fed, and out the door in a timely manner. I will miss the coziness of bedtime snuggles at the end of an exhausting day, because one day they won’t need me in the same way.
While we may miss those moments one day, we are in the moment now, and it is difficult to properly care for others if you cannot care for yourself. Finding moments of self-care when you are juggling parenthood, career, and parent partnership is essential to your well-being, and vital to best serve the needs of others.
Here are some ways to find self-care:
Role model “Quiet time.” Let your children know “I am feeling (tired/exhausted/frustrated/stressed) and am going to take some quiet time in my room for a little while. Here is a timer, and I am unavailable until it beeps!” Your children will benefit from having the example set that our bodies and minds need quiet time to restore.
Some version of get outside/ go for a walk/ meditate. It’s cliche for a reason.
What fills your bucket? If you are someone who is filled through social connection, schedule some time with others. Sometimes even having something on your calendar to look forward to can be spirit lifting. Listen to a podcast, music, read a book or watch a mindless tv show. Indulge yourself in what brings joy, regardless of your to do list and say no thank you to whatever guilt you may feel.
Embrace that you are enough. We model mental health and joy for our children - fight back against unrealistic expectations or negative self-talk. Your children don’t need a stressed out parent trying to keep up with the Jones’ or the latest flashy toy to feel fulfilled. Give yourself permission to be enough just as you are.
You are doing a great job. And I hope we can all find acceptance in this stage of motherhood. Acceptance will allow us to fall freely into the depths of making lunches, folding excessive amounts of laundry, and comforting a toddler who is upset because “my banana broke!” And rather than fighting against the time-consuming tasks, or energy those menial tasks may take, we can welcome some of the chores because it is simply a part of the chapter of our lives we find ourselves in. You’re not in this alone, and you’re the best caregiver your child could ever want.